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I was in the bathroom after getting my wig into placeand most of my makeup on while trying out a new mascara when it felt likethe whole building shook. The sound of metal and wood and brick andglass all crashing and seemingly exploding was loud enough to hurt myears and all I could do was fall to the floor, cover my head, and waitfor the earthquake to end. I quickly realized that it wasn't anearthquake when it got quiet. Peeking up into the mirror I couldn'tbelieve what I saw at first. Outside of my bathroom I saw the wreckedand torn front end of a car with its lights and blinkers on... in myliving room. Turning around I saw that I wasn't imagining it. A car hadtorn through the apartment complexes lawn and rammed into my apartment.When I saw the driver, a college age girl, moving slowly in obvious painI snapped to action. I could hear the creeks from the wall continuing tocrumble and let the fear of the building collapsing on this poor girlfuel my speed in getting her out of. Like a stubborn two-year-old, Jack rejected every command from the colonel with a petulant, “No!” When I saw the sense in a directive, I’d take Jack aside and ask him kindly to do whatever it was and Jack would do it. The colonel’s latest demand was for Jack to have another Bloody Mary. Jack meekly complied.At only a few minutes before we had to leave for the motorcade, the MIB finally showed up. There was a head-to-head standoff between Ms. Smith MIB and the colonel that promised escalation to command levels of the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security. Apparently, neither had actually been given charge.Hmm. Maybe there’s a Department of Homeland Entertainment, which would seem to be a good choice to be in charge of this farce. Perhaps the Keystone Agency could send a few of their best police recruits to take charge. At one time, the Department of Health and Human Services would have been the right choice, but ‘Human Services’ had been eliminated in a budget.
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